When Your World's Afire
by TgKitty
Summary: Jackson suddenly commits suicide and Miley believes it to be her fault. She knows her friends will try to help her, but she is fully convinced she can’t be helped…until Lilly came along. WARNING: female slash in later chapters Liley
1. The End

**Chapter 1**

Jackson Stewart sat quietly on his bed, turning the Mauser 10x22T pistol he held in his hands every which way. The metal felt smooth and cold to his delicate touch. He gazed at it, measured it in his hands, felt every carving and rigid edge there was to it. He knew full and well what his plans with this device were.

"Hey, Jackson, we're leavin'!" Jackson heard his father Robbie Ray Stewart call up to him from down stairs.

"Okay, Dad!" He yelled back down.

"No parties," Robbie Ray added.

"Okay, Dad!"

"And no raiding the fridge—"

"--Alright, Dad!" Jackson rolled his eyes, wishing they would just leave already.

"We'll be back by 11:00!" With that, Jackson heard the front door close and lock. Soon after the engine to his sister's limo roared and faded as it left.

Miley Stewart, his little sister and most commonly known as Hannah Montana, had yet another concert tonight. Yeah, that was Miley alright. Most of the time she though pretty highly of herself because of the fact that she was pop sensation Hannah Montana; she was always daddy's little girl. Yeah, everybody loved Miley. And Jackson? Well, Jackson was just Jackson who always felt second best and seemed to dwell within Miley's shadow.

Jackson flipped the pistol in his hands again. He remembered distinctly the memory that provoked him to think about doing this.

**Flashback**

They were in a tree. How they ended up in a tree, Jackson could not clearly remember, but there they were, hanging on a branch that was who knows how high up. Jackson was gripping the steering wheel of Thor's monster truck so tightly that his knuckles were turning white. Fear was plainly written across his face.

Miley, who was currently dressed as Hannah Montana for Beyonce's party, was arguing with him about how she should be the one to crawl out of the back window. After mentioning going to the party then coming back with help for Jackson later, Jackson had had enough.

"I can not believe how selfish you're being!"

"I'm not being selfish. I'm thinking about my millions of fans. They'd be crushed if I die," Miley said with sticky sweetness in her voice.

"Well people would miss me too," Jackson replied with hurt in his voice.

"Oh please, you're teachers would throw a party, Thor would be too upset about his truck, and, trust me, I can get Daddy through it." The tone of her voice changed completely.

Somehow, it tore Jackson inside, making him want to get out the back first just to escape and leave his sister there. After almost tipping the truck forward, they decided to flip a coin. Miley won. As she started to crawl out of the window, her belt caught, and she was stuck. Jackson decided to climb out the driver's window and climb around to "help" her out.

As he landed in the bed of the truck he shouted, "I'm out! I'm free!" He was about to jump out until Miley's stern voice told him to help her. He thought about it.

On the one hand, leaving would mean he would be sister free and without fights. Also, it would mean there would be more paying attention to him rather than his sister. On the other hand, Jackson would have to face his father's disappointment, and Robbie would be too upset about losing his precious daughter, who was also Hannah Montana, that he would not have time to pay attention to his son.

Jackson helped Miley out of the window and they made it out alive, ignoring the fact that the truck was really only two feet off of the ground of course.

**End Flashback**

Jackson never took his sister's comments seriously, but for some reason unbeknownst to him, he could not let this one go. Partly, he guessed, was because part of him believed it.

He was never one to do well in school. He had a lot of trouble with the teachers he had, thus he frequently got into trouble. Even if he did not do something, he was the one who got blamed for it.

Where his father was concerned, Jackson rarely ever heard his father say, "I'm proud of you, Jackson. Good job." The most he heard was his father's raged voice yelling his name. It always seemed as though Jackson was the one to screw up and Miley was the perfect child.

"I'm worthless. Miles was right. I wouldn't be missed if I just died. Dad's go the perfect daughter he wanted. I'm just in the way," Jackson whispered to himself, temporarily forgetting he was the only one at home now.

He gently placed the pistol on the bed and took out some paper and a pen. After scribbling down a note, he walked out of his room and down the hall. Turning right into Miley's room, he walked straight to the closet. He pushed away the various old clothes and clothes Miley had gotten from her father as a birthday present that she either stained purposefully or had never worn. He opened Hannah Montana's closet, walked in, and taped the note next to the revolving clothes rack. Shutting the closet doors behind him, he strode out into the hall and back into his room.

He sat back down on his bed and picked up the pistol. _Nobody will miss me_. He thought as if for reassurance. He readied it and held it to his temple. _Dad has Miley._

Bang!

Hey, guys. Sorry for ending the chapter like that. I'll try to make the second chapter longer, but it will have to wait until after monday, June 4, because that is my last day of exams. Then it's summer!


	2. Coming Home

**Okay, so here is chapter 2. warning: it's a little gory, just a little. **

**Disclaimer: i do not own hannah montana yadayadayada.**

**Hey, I added a couple sentences to this chapter. If you don't want to read the chapter again, it basically says how Robbie Ray called 911 before looking for his daughter. Thank you, macandcheeze-its for pointing that out to me.**

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**Chapter 2**

"Wooh doggy! I think that was your best performance, Miles!" Robbie Ray exclaimed as he and Miley walked up the pathway to their house, pushing aside long, flower-covered vines.

"Daddy, you say that after every concert."

"Yes, so what's your point?"

Miley rolled her eyes, but smiled.

"I'm just so proud of you, bud," Mr. Stewart said, giving her a bear hug in the process.

Miley giggled. "Thanks, Daddy."

"Boy it's quiet in there," Mr. Stewart commented as he put the key in the lock. "Maybe I should be concerned," he joked.

"He's probably asleep."

"Miley, we're talking about Jackson. The boy never goes to bed until it's midnight."

"Daddy, it is midnight."

"Oh," he said. He opened the door only to be greeted by darkness and an eerie silence. They couldn't see anything except the outlines of furniture and the stretch of moonlight cascading through the window. Mr. Stewart flipped the light switch and the living room was suddenly filled with light. The first thing Mr. Stewart did was check the refrigerator. "Looks like Jackson actually obeyed me," he commented, seeing no food that looked as if it had been touched let alone moved.

"That's a first," said Miley. Tired, she trudged up the stairs and walked straight into her room. But wait. Miley knew something was out of place in her room, and then she realized her door had been opened. Miley growled. She always had her door closed and since Jackson was the only one at home when she was performing…

"Jackson," she snarled and stomped out of her room and towards Jackson's. She didn't care if her brother was asleep. He had violated one of her top rules- NEVER go into Miley's room unless it was an emergency. "Jackson, you have a lot of nerve to…" She stopped.

The room had that same eerie darkness and silence that the living room had, and yet, it felt different. It felt as though no one was really there, yet they were there, and there was a mysterious smell that she could not quite put her finger on. Miley's heart started pounding in her chest as though she felt something was going to jump out at her.

She turned on the lights and something did jump out. It was the first thing she laid her eyes on. The object was lying limp and at a weird angle on the bed. Under it was a pool of crimson liquid that dripped off of the bed and onto the floor. A pistol lay seemingly innocently at the object's side.

"Jackson?" Miley asked cautiously. He didn't move. "Jackson!" Miley ran over to the bed and started to violently shake her brother's limp form. "Jackson, no, don't leave me," she whispered and continued to shake him though she knew it was useless. "JACKSON!" She screamed.

"What in Sam's name is going on here? Miley, you've been home for two minutes and you two are…" Mr. Stewart stopped in the doorway just as Miley had. He couldn't believe the seen in front of him. His pop sensation daughter knelt over a blood-stained Jackson. Her body shook as she sobbed with the knowledge that her brother was dead. "…at each other's throats," he finished hoarsely. He cautiously walked across the cream colored carpet that now held the stains of death. He dropped to his knees beside Miley and gazed upon his son with wide eyes filled with tears. "Miley, can I have a minute with my son?"

She didn't respond for a moment, too reluctant on letting go of Jackson. A few minutes passed until she finally gave a slight nod and stood up. She slipped out of Jackson's room and Robbie Ray was left alone.

Tears poured down his cheeks and fell like raindrops onto the bed sheet. "Jackson," he whispered and gathered his son in his arms. Gently he rocked slightly. "What in the world possessed you to think like this? Why didn't you come to me for help?" He whispered questions to the cold body that lay under him.

Miley sat on the floor beside her bed looking at her hands that were drenched in blood, as were her clothes. But she did not feel like changing. In fact, she was too in shock to want to do anything. He brother, her only brother, lay in the room beside her dead, and she could not do anything. That thought alone made her sick to her stomach.

She took a shaky breath and with it came a memory. In Miley's eyes it was a horrible memory because she did not know what she was thinking by saying that. But the memory was short. At the moment, she did not remember being stuck in a tree. She recalled neither the conversation that took place before, nor the conversation that took place after. All that she remembered were the five words Jackson said and venomous two words she replied with. But they played over and over in her head like a broken record player.

"_People would miss me too."_

"_Oh, please."_

"It's my fault," Miley concluded. New found tears formed in her eyes and she rested her head on her knees and began to cry again. "Jackson, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Please come back to me. I never mentioned that I wouldn't miss you because it wasn't true. I would miss you and I do miss you. None of what I said was true; I didn't believe any of it. Please, please, just come back."

Robbie Ray laid his son gently back onto the bed. He tried wiping away the tear trails on his face, but he only made it worse with the blood on his hands. Spotting the pistol, he picked it up. Anger rushed through him and he gripped the gun tightly. With a great force he threw the gun out of the closed window in his son's room.

Glass flew everywhere, but Mr. Stewart didn't care at the moment. He turned swiftly around and exited the room, shutting the door behind him. Walking into the kitchen, he picked up the phone and dialed 911 to let them know. After the conversation, he walked back upstairs to find his daughter. "Miley?" He called out as he walked toward her room. He found her with her knees up against her chest and sobbing. "Miley," he started. She jerked her head up, thinking that maybe, just maybe it was Jackson. Realizing it was not, more tears formed in her eyes.

"Daddy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Daddy, it's my fault."

"Miles it wasn't your fault," he said, kneeling down in front of her.

"Yes, it was! It's my fault he's dead. I said something that I was serious about back then, but I realize now I don't really believe it! It's my fault, Daddy!"

"Miles, it is not your fault, now calm down!" Miley got quiet. "Don't you ever think it was your fault. It was his decision."

"Yeah, but…"

"…Miley," he warned.

Miley could not hold back. With the little strength she had at the moment, she flung herself at her father. Hugging him tightly, she cried, and Robbie Ray hugged her back.

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**Okay so it was a little longer than the first chapter. The third chapter will most likely be put up Monday afternoon. But at least I got chapter 2 done before then!**

TgKitty


	3. Telling Lilly

**HAH! I finally got chapter 3 up! Sorry it took so long. After camp I was suffering from "I-want-to-go-back-to-camp" syndrome so I didn't feel like writing anything. Then I went to California, but now that I'm back, here's Chapter 3! Thanks for all the reviews!**

**Chapter 3**

Jackson's body was removed from the premises within the next hour and was taken to a private place until the burial. Though Miley still hadn't stopped crying, she had, in fact, stopped sobbing, leaving silent tears to make their way down her pale face. Mr. Stewart told her to go to bed, but even after she was comfy in bed and her father had said goodnight, she still lay there awake for another few hours.

Miley walked along a pathway unseen. Thick, silver mists slithered all around her, creating certain coolness to linger in the air. Shifting her feet in the direction the pathway was apparently taking her, she looked around in fear. Tall, old trees rose to great heights above her in every direction that seemed to go on for miles and were covered in richly green moss that possessed a brutal stench.

She was shaking tremendously. She brought her arms up and hugged herself in a vain attempt to stop her trembling and to warm herself up. A snap was heard to her left and she quickly looked over, but sight was futile in a place as dark as the one she was slowly walking in. Her heart beat faster and she quickened her pace. Another snap but to her right and, along with it, a voice drawled out and deep saying one single word that caused Miley to stiffen up and stop in her tracks. "Miiiilleeeeyyyy."

It stopped. When Miley's breath caught back up to her, it came fast. She started jogging and the voice came back, saying, "It's yoouuurr faaauult. Yoouuu caaan't escaaaape iiiiit."

She started sprinting. "Miiillllleeeyyy. Miiillleeeyyyy!" She skidded to a hault at a raging river's bank. Suddenly, she felt as though she was pushed and she went tumbling into the river's depth. She resurfaced, gasping for breath only to be pushed back down by the current. She was beat into boulders that rose out of the ground. Resurfacing again, she tried desperately to grab hold of one of the boulders, but it slipped from her grasp. She looked in the direction the river was taking her only to find a waterfall awaiting her. She flailed in the bitter cold water but to no avail.

"Miley! Miley!" was all she heard as she plummeted downward.

"Miley! Miles!"

Miley awoke with a start, sitting straight up in her bed. She was cold and wet. She looked next to her to see her father smirking down at her and holding a bucket that previously contained water.

"DAD!" She screamed.

"Sorry, Miles, but it was the only thing that would wake you up."

Miley rubbed her eyes and yawned, "What time is it?"

"It's noon."

"WHAT?!" Miley asked astonished. It was Wednesday, and she was supposed to be at school. Miley jumped out of bed to get ready only to be pushed back down by her father. "Dad, I gotta get ready for school!"

"No you don't. I already explained the situation to your school and they agreed with me that you should have the day off."

Miley gave her father a questioning look. "What are you talking about, Dad? What situation?"

Mr. Stewart gave a sigh. Apparently Miley did not, if not would not, remember the events that took place the previous night. But instead of sitting down next to his daughter on the bed and explaining everything, he just sighed again and took her hand. "Come on," he said quietly. He led her three doors down the hall and turned into Jackson's previous bedroom. There was still the smell of a rotting body drifting around and the blood stains were still obviously visible on both the bed and the carpet.

"Oh, yeah," Miley whispered. She could feel more tears start to form, but she forced them back. She entered the room slowly, looking around as if it were a new room she had never seen before. Walking over to the bedside table, her eyes landed on a picture. She smiled at the memory.

_Flashback_

Miley was five and still had the personality she possessed even as a freshman in high school. She was bubbly and very smiley. Jackson was seven and was still at that age where boys thought girls were icky.

"All right, you two, are you ready to make Mommy her birthday cake?" Mr. Stewart whispered.

"Yeah!" They shouted.

"Shhh," he tried to shush them. Mrs. Stewart was taking a nap, trying to rid of a headache.

"Oops. Yeah!" The two whispered. Mr. Stewart chuckled.

"Okay, Miley, I want you to get two big bowls. Jackson, you get the flour and sugar."

After getting all the ingredients ready, Mr. Stewart instructed them to mix them together while he went to check on Mommy. As Miley and Jackson started mixing all the ingredients together in one big bowl, Miley accidentally flicked a forkful of batter at Jackson. "Oops. Sorry, Jackson," Miley giggled. Jackson just smirked a little, put his hand down in the batter and flung it at his sister.

Miley gasped as it hit her in the face. Jackson laughed, and soon there was a war taking place. Chocolate cake batter was thrown every which way, and when they ran out of batter, they went for the flour. Each child was giggling and laughing as the battle raged on. But all went still when they heard the strict voice of their father yell, "What in Sam's name is going on? Miley and Jackson, look what you've done to the kitchen!"

Miley and Jackson looked down with shame. They knew they messed up badly this time. "Oh my heavens…" The two children looked up to see their mother looking around the room. Mrs. Stewart let out a small laugh. "Look at you two. Miley, Jackson, you both are messier than pigs taking a mud bath." Mrs. Stewart, Jackson, and Miley all laughed, but Mr. Stewart still had a stern look on his face. Mrs. Stewart noticed this and said, "Oh, lighten up, Robbie Ray. They were just havin' a little fun."

"Well a little fun isn't going to get this mess cleaned up."

Mrs. Stewart sighed and walked over to the almost empty bowl of cake batter and scooped out the remaining contents. Swiftly moving towards her husband, she smirked and hit him in the face with batter in her hand. Then took some flour and flicked it over the mess now on his face.

"I can't believe you just did that," Mr. Stewart said, but he smiled none the less.

_End Flashback_

The picture held the figures of Jackson and Miley held at the side of their father. All still had the cake batter and flour on their person, and all were smiling brightly at the camera. Miley sighed and turned towards the door. She spoke as she walked out, "I'm gonna make myself lunch."

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Miley Stewart lay on the soft couch, engrossed in a new teen show. The show was something about some teenager who is really living two lives as a regular kid and a rock star. "How pathetic," she said as she changed the channel.

She heard a knock on the door and grudgingly stood up from her comfortable position and trudged to the door. She opened the door and before getting a word in, her best friend Lilly Truscott entered with her arms filled with various books.

"Hey, Miley. All the teachers wanted me to deliver your books to you. As for the day today, we had a pop test in biology. Rico was the only one who aced it, as usual; Oliver flunked it, again, as usual; and I got a C on it. Just giving you a heads up incase Ms. Kunkle decides to give it to you when you get back. It's probably partially a good thing you weren't at school today because Oliver embarrassed himself again at lunch. See, he was walking towards our usual table and he tripped, for some weird reason because there was nothing to trip over, and all his food went flying through the air and when he stood up, most of it landed right on his head. Except for his vanilla pudding which landed on Becca Weller. Hey, I didn't see Jackson at school today either. Are you both sick? You'd better not be. I love you and all, Miley, but I cannot afford to get sick with the huge skateboarding competition this Saturday."

Miley didn't answer. She was too shocked to speak. Hadn't the news about Jackson's suicide gotten around school by now? Usually gossip travels fast around Seaview High School, so why hadn't Lilly heard about Jackson?

"Miley, you okay?" Miley snapped out of her thoughts and was met staring into the dazzling blue eyes that were Lilly's.

"Lilly," Miley started, not taking her gaze away from those enchanting eyes, "I think there's something you need to know."

"What is it?"

Miley sighed and closed her eyes. She plopped down on the couch and Lilly joined her. "Lilly, Jackson and I aren't sick. In fact I think Jackson can't get any more healthy."

"What are you talking about?" Lilly asked with a questioning look on her face.

Miley faced Lilly and again was met with magical eyes. "Lilly, Jackson killed himself." Two tears fell from Miley's eyes as she finally admitted the truth to not only Lilly, but to herself also.

Lilly's questioning face was replaced with an astonished one. "When?" She whispered.

"Last night." A few more tears found their way down Miley's face.

Lilly didn't say anything for a few minutes. Then she brought Miley into a comforting hug and Miley cried on her shoulder. Lilly just sat there, a few tears running down her own cheeks. She gently stroked Miley's hair as the latter continued to cry.

And suddenly the day's events had no meaning any more to Lilly. The events of the skateboarding competition did not matter. All that mattered was comforting the girl she had developed a crush on over the years.

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**Okay, I promise, things will start to lighten up. Keep reviewing and alerting and all that other stuff! I really appreciate it!**


	4. Girls Day Out

**I was finally able to post chapter 4! It was a while, but I finally did it! Thank you to those who are really interested in this story. I'll write chapters as much as I can, but I won't update every week; it may take a couple weeks before I update. But here is Chapter 4!**

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**Chapter 4**

Dear Diary,

It's Thursday night now, and it's still hard for me to believe the news that Miley gave to me yesterday. Miley told me her brother Jackson killed himself Tuesday night while she was performing. Miley arrived back at school today, though both Mr. Stewart and I insisted on her rest. It pains me to see her like this. The fire has diminished from her eyes and the bounce in her step is no longer there. I know I shouldn't like her, but this depressed feeling I receive when Miley is in so much pain, and the light-heartedness I get when she's joyful, and the way I despise it when we fight- they have me convinced that Miley is what my heart truly wants.

Lilly

Friday morning had arrived and left in an instant for Miley. That day, she and Lilly told Oliver the reason there was an opening at Rico's. Oliver, though desperately sympathetic and willing to help Miley through the heartbreak, did not help at all. Being Oliver, he only made things worse. Even more so when he announced he had taken the job.

But it was still just a blur to Miley. Everybody had been trying to cheer her up for the past few days, but Miley felt confident that she would not be able to be happy again for a while. She could no longer have playful banters with her brother anymore. She could not hug him when she felt the need to. He was her brother; she was not going to get over his death as quickly as everybody else had.

Starting the next morning, Oliver was starting his new job at Rico's, Lilly will be attending her skateboard competition, and her father will be on a date all day. Everybody would lead normal lives and forget all about Jackson. But she will not. She will not do that to Jackson.

Miley lay on the living room couch paying half attention to the movie playing in front of her. Her thoughts were still drifting to Jackson. The house was quiet. Her father had long gone to bed and was probably snoring up a storm in his room. The calmness of the atmosphere was soothing and made Miley a bit sleepy. She yawned a few times but tried her hardest to stay awake. But the peacefulness was too strong, and soon, she fell into deep slumber.

She was in the place again. Where exactly this place was, she had yet to find out, but it was still cold and dark as it had been before. She still could not see where her feet were leading her, but she did not have a good feeling about this. "Miiiley," called out the voice again. She ran, trying to escape Jackson's voice. Again, she stopped at the edge of the running river, and again, something pushed her in.

Miley jumped straight up, panting. She was still in her living room, and it was morning. She stretched and stood up from the couch. Walking into the kitchen, she found a note lying on the counter. It read as follows:

Miles,

I'm leaving for my date and it's about ten o'clock now. I'll be back around seven tonight. If you need anything, call my cell, but try not to need anything. Love you, bud.

Dad

A knock on the door startled Miley. She looked to the door and saw Lilly's face peering at her in the window. Miley strode over and opened the door. Lilly walked straight in, saying, "Hey, Miley." She looked at Miley up and down and added, "Go get dressed."

"Why?" Miley asked, assuming Lilly had only come over to say goodbye to her, then leave for her skateboarding competition.

"I'll tell you in a minute, now get dressed," Lilly said, shoving a finger towards the stairs.

Miley obeyed and was down in thirty minutes completely dressed in black capris, a plain aqua blue tank top, and flip-flops with her hair brushed and pulled into a pony tail. "That's better," Lilly said. "Now, let's go."

"Go where, exactly?" Miley asked as she was being dragged by her friend.

"To the mall, Silly. Then I'm taking you to the beach. It's a girl's day today."

Miley slipped her hand out of Lilly's and the latter turned around, confused. Miley crossed her arms, and then said, "What about your skateboard competition?"

"I'm not going. I decided you needed me more than that stupid competition did."

Miley's face softened and she uncrossed her arms. "Aww," she said, "Lilly, that's so sweet, but you really don't need to do that for me."

"Sure I do. You're hurt, but I'm going to fix it until you aren't afraid to smile."

"Thanks, Lilly." Lilly was determined to get Jackson off of Miley's mind, and it was not that Miley did not want her help, it was just that Miley felt she could not be helped.

"No problem, now let's get going. My mom's waiting in the car."

Rather reluctantly, though not enough to let Lilly catch on, Miley grabbed her purse and followed her best friend though door.

Three hours later the two girls emerged onto the entrance way to the beach, laughing at something Mrs. Truscott had said. But Miley ceased laughing when she caught sight of Oliver fancily serving customers at Rico's. Right now, he was doing his signature service- juggling water bottles.

Lilly stopped in mid sprint to the beach when she realized that Miley had stopped following her. She turned around and, noticing the pained expression on Miley's face, walked over to her best friend. Lilly laid a hand on Miley's shoulder. Miley faced her with tears in her eyes, and Lilly gave her a reassuring smile, telling Miley that she knew it could be a while before Miley accepted the fact that her brother was gone.

Lilly gently slipped her hand into Miley's and gave it a small tug towards the beach. Miley let Lilly lead her as she looked back at the place her brother liked to work at. She and Lilly arrived at the beach, and, after setting their things down in the shade, the two girls walked along the ocean shore.

"I can't believe he's gone," Miley spoke softly.

"I know. It seems like only yesterday that you two snuck out of the house when you were grounded and Oliver and I had to take your place."

Miley smiled at the memory.

"He liked a lot of things in life. He liked working at Rico's, he liked the beach, but I think the thing he liked the most was fooling around with his sister."

"Like how?" Miley asked defensively, taking the last comment out of context.

"Not like that!" Lilly said, catching on to how Miley took that information. "I mean like this!" Lilly pushed Miley towards the ocean, but Miley was too quick and had grabbed Lilly's wrists, pulling her on top of her.

Miley sat up laughing, but then she stopped when she realized just how close she was to Lilly. Faces inches apart, Miley gazed into Lilly's ocean-colored eyes. For a reason unbeknownst to her, she felt the blush starting to creep to her cheeks.

"I should get back before my dad," Miley practically whispered.

Lilly barely nodded, obviously just as embarrassed about the situation as Miley was, if not more. They stood up, drenched in salty water. But as Miley turned around to leave, Lilly grabbed her waist, twisted her around, and gave Miley a passionate kiss. Miley was shocked as first, but soon forgot it was Lilly she was kissing and was soon kissing back. They broke apart seconds later and Miley gave a small, shakey "bye", and then ran in the direction of her house, completely forgetting about her belongings sitting in the shade and leaving a bewildered Lilly to silently give a slow wave to the retreating Miley.


	5. Life is Heartless

**Finally, I've uploaded another chapter. I apologize for the agonizingly long wait. But here it is, and I'll try to upload the next chapter sooner.**

**Chapter 5**

As soon as she reached her room, Miley threw herself down upon her bed, breathing heavily from running. She stared at the ceiling that gazed back at her while she tried processing in her mind what had just happened. _Did Lilly just kiss me? Did I kiss her back? Did I like it?_ "Is this wrong?" Miley asked aloud. Millions of questions were running a marathon in her brain, but among them, that question had run the fastest, grabbing the most attention from Miley.

Was it really wrong to kiss her best friend, who was a girl, and like it? Was it really wrong to like her best friend as more than a best friend? Was it really wrong to love? Miley's heart sunk as the answer her conscience bore flew so quickly to mind that she swore she saw it written on the off white ceiling that she continued to look at. No. It was not right, moral, to love her best friend in the manner they just presented. It killed Miley emotionally to think this thought, for she truly believed she had fallen deep for Lilly, not just at that moment she had kissed the aforesaid, but as their friendship wore on. There was a point where Miley stopped considering Lilly as a best friend. Though she had not concluded this out loud, she had done it mentally, and she had placed in the back confines of her mind.

She sighed, deciding on what to do the next time she saw Lilly, and stood up from her bed. She would deal with that later though; right now, she was going to take a shower in order to rid herself of the sandy, salty feeling and the memory of that kiss. It was wrong to love Lilly, and, since she was sure Lilly loved her just as much as she loved Lilly, she had to stop it. Not only was it immoral, but she did not want to hurt Lilly with her depression of Jackson. No matter how much she wanted to be with Lilly, she could not.

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Lilly walked hesitantly up the stone walkway to the Stewart's house. She held the objects that Miley had left on the beach and was returning them to her. She knocked on the door, knowing Miley would be home, and waited for an answer. As she waited, she though about what she had just done. To this moment, she still could not believe she had kissed her best friend, and her best friend had kissed her back. But she was sure that she had made a mistake the moment Miley ran off, ran away from her. Yet, Miley had kissed back, so did that mean that Miley had a crush on Lilly? Lilly put her free hand to her head and rubbed her palm against her temple. She had a headache from all this thinking.

A few minutes had passed, and still there was no answer to Lilly's knock. Lilly sighed and turned around to leave, but stopped when she heard singing coming from within the house. She turned and knocked again. "Miley?" She called out. The singing continued, Lilly's words having not met the singer's ears. Curious to see whether the door was unlocked, Lilly put her hand to the doorknob and slowly turned it and pushed. To her surprise, it opened and she walked into the house, shutting the door behind her. It was then that she heard the upstairs shower running and Miley singing, as usual, in it. _Well, she wouldn't mind if I just dropped these off in her room_, Lilly thought.

She walked upstairs, confidently. Turning into Miley's room, she walked over to the bed, on which she gently placed the towel. As she was placing the bags from the mall, filled with the things Miley had bought, onto the bed as well, she heard a gasp come from the doorway. She turned around quickly to come in eye contact with Miley, her hair dripping and her body covered up with only a towel, which she held in place.

"Lilly? What are you doing here?" Miley asked, feeling a little more conscientious of the fact that she was only wearing a towel than she ever had.

"I just came to…give you your things back. You left them on the beach." Lilly was blushing madly at the sight of her crush in a towel. She found it slightly odd how she had never blushed when Miley wore a towel in front of her before however. Miley noticed the blush on Lilly's face, but ignored it for the moment.

"Oh, thanks." There was awkward silence for a moment until Lilly declared that she had better go. "Lilly, wait," Miley said as Lilly reached the door. Lilly turned around to face her. "We need to talk."

"Okay."

"Um, let me put some clothes on first. You can just sit on the bed for now."

Lilly obeyed and closed her eyes as Miley got dressed. As soon as Miley had finished changing, she sat down on the bed next to Lilly, facing her. "Lilly?" Lilly opened her eyes and looked at Miley. "Do you…like me?"

"Of course I like you, Miley." Lilly said smiling.

"No, I mean, do you like me as more than just a best friend?"

"Oh," Lilly grew silent and looked down at the carpet. Should she tell her? Miley seemed to like the kiss, so why not? "Yes," she replied, looking back at her.

Miley sighed. "You know we can't be together, right?" She asked Lilly hesitantly. Lilly's mouth dropped in shock. She was sure Miley would say that she liked her too. After a few seconds, Lilly became slightly defensive.

"That may be, possibly, something that I completely and utterly, positively not might know!"

"You have no idea, do you?" Miley asked, unfazed by Lilly's false astonishment.

"No," Lilly gave in, sighing.

"Lilly, we're both girls, and now that Jackson's gone, Daddy's gonna need a daughter who is straight and perfect, who, in the future, will provide him with grandkids."

"You can't be perfect, Miles."

"I can try."

Lilly laughed a little before the room grew silent again. But there was one thing that kept bothering Lilly. "Miley, do you…like me?"

Miley was astounded. She had not seen that question coming to her, and, honestly, it made her flabbergasted. She knew she did like Lilly, but she could not let her know that. Instead, she became defensive. "Tha…that's not the point! The point is that two girls liking each other in a manner other than friendship is IMMORAL!"

"So, now I'm immoral?" Lilly asked, standing up.

"That's not what I meant! What would happen if we did start dating? We would have to keep it a secret! I've got enough of a secret to keep, thank you very much. I like you Lilly, but I will NEVER like you as more than a best friend."

"Well fine," was all Lilly said as she swiftly walked out of the room and out of the house.

Miley watched Lilly's retreating figure and fell onto her bed, sighing. She didn't intend for the conversation to end in a fight. But it had. And now her world burst into flames at the thought of not speaking to Lilly. She hated when she fought with Lilly, but never had a fight caused her heart to break so tremendously as it had when Lilly walked out the door. Again Miley stared at the ceiling intently, as if the answers on how to fix things would just fall through. But they never did. So as she fell into a restless sleep, one question ran through her mind that she thought she may never be able to answer. Why had the two most important people to her have to walk out on her? One was never to return, while the other, well, at this point Miley did not even know if Lilly would ever treat her the same way again, nor did Miley think that she could ever treat Lilly the same way again. Life, indeed, was cruel and heartless.


End file.
